Wintertime calls for hot cocoa, warm coats, and sometimes a warm body next to you at night . Often called “cuffing season”, we see an increase of committed relationships during this time of year. From pumpkin patch dates to holiday cards, love is in the air. With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, this question comes to mind; how do you vet your new bae? Red flags and green flags are not just a part of Squid Games. Red flags in a relationship can be defined as reasons why your potential partner (or you) may not be able to have a healthy relationship. Green flags on the other hand are the opposite, and signify why the relationship may be healthy. When looking for potential partners, it’s extremely important that you take the time to evaluate the signs they are giving. Not communicating with you? Red flag. You can be your authentic self around this person? Green flag. You see the gist of it. A lot of times, we’ve become so accustomed to red flags that we barely see them blaring in our face. It becomes easy to “just go with it”, because we feel like if we’re always seeing these red flags, just how bad can they be. The answer is that no matter how many times you’ve seen a red flag, it doesn’t make it less red. You get to decide to leave. You get to decide to step away when those flags are blazing bright. Need some help? Here are some common red and green flags to look out for in partners! Red Flags i.e. run away while you can
Lack of communication- Though we are all learning communication skills at some point in our lives, a partner who blatantly does not communicate properly and does not change those habits when asked about them is a no go
Love Bombing – This person is bombarding you with promises of love and commitment after the first date. Though love at first sight is definitely a thing, be attentive to if their proclamation of love feels fake or not.
Jealousy & Distrust- It is important to trust your partner in your relationship. Jealousy shows up as a response to fear of abandonment.
Green Flags i.e. maybe we can see where this goes
You are able to be yourself fully around that person – This person makes you feel safe and like you can show up as your authentic self.
They are intentional with you- This person takes the time to learn what you like and is intentional about the time they interact with you.
No games are played – This person will be straightforward and honest with you. No mind games, no problems.
Healthy arguments – No one is perfect, including you. Sometimes you will get into disagreements with your partner. Your partner will take time to understand where you are both coming from and you will be able to come to a healthy solution.
They support you – This person is always supportive of you and has no problem showing it. They are Team You!
Your goals are aligned- A definite green flag is a person who you have talked through plans with and they are aligned with yours. You have to be able to see eye to eye.
These are just some of the red and green flags to look out for in a relationship. A huge determining factor is also truly seeing that person for who they are, that will help you decipher those flags better. As you go into the world, remember, you are not valued based on your dating status. You get to determine who is and who isn’t allowed in your life. You get to choose your partner and what you will and will not allow. Happy Dating Season!